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The Nightowl Newswrap

  

by: BG & YD bring you the news

Wed May 12, 2010 at 23:15:00 PM CDT


At least if President Obama picks Christine Gregoire for the next Solicitor General he won't be poaching a good, solid Democratic Governor away from a red state.

Candidates begin shying away from Palin "Sarah Palin is in the Chicago suburbs Wednesday for a major GOP fundraiser, though many of the party's ticket-topping candidates will be conspicuously absent. ... Chief among them is Congressman and Senate candidate Mark Kirk. ... Suburban congressional candidates, trying to win Democratic seats in moderate areas of the state, are also steering clear of the former vice-presidential nominee. Randy Hultgren and Bob Dold, two of the state GOP's leading prospects, won't be in attendance. And neither will suburban state senators like John Millner and Dan Duffy."

D.C. career fair for older workers draws thousands "Over 3,000 people showed up to AARP's "Promoting Yourself at 50+" career fair in D.C., one of 48 fairs the organization will be holding around the country through November. The fairs offer resumé workshops, career counseling and booths set up by employers with job openings -- and while they are aimed at helping older workers reboot their careers, younger workers still showed up by the thousands. ... "The vendors knew we were doing a tremendous amount of outreach to older folks, and they were willing to look at older folks for their value rather than their age," said Phyllis Cohn, communications director for AARP. "But we can't discriminate. These career fairs are open to all ages, and the turnout for this one was about 50/50.""

Like Facebook, only private. Four young and talented geeks in New York City are writing the code for Diaspora* even as we type. Click through the second link to find out how you can help them. We are soooo off of Facebook the second they are up and running!

The "Drug Czar" shows an astounding gift for stating the obvious He says the "war on drugs" has been "largely unsuccessful." We say "No shit, Sherlock."

RNC '12 will be in Tampa, not Phoenix But the decision had nothing to do with Arizona's xenophobic "papers please" law, according to RNC Chairman Michael Steele it was just a business decision. Then he went and said that Tampa simply "had more resources" than Phoenix or the other finalist, Salt Lake City. Presumably, when they said "resources" they were not referring to the preponderance of titty bars in Tampa, which is just about the loosest buckle on the entire bible belt. Don't count on it to keep anyones pants even on, let alone up.

But Wait! There's More! "Los Angeles on Wednesday became the largest city yet to boycott Arizona over its tough new law targeting illegal immigration in a move that likely will affect some $8 million in contracts with the state. ... The City Council voted 13-1 to bar Los Angeles from conducting business with Arizona unless the law is repealed. The vote followed an emotional council discussion during which many members noted that their ancestors were U.S. immigrants. ... Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa already has said he would approve the boycott."

Because abstaining from sex has been working out so well for them the wingnut freakazoids have decided that the way to get their daughters to stop getting knocked up in high school isn't to talk to them openly and honestly about sex, but to keep them from even kissing before marriage. Seriously. (Don't click the link and watch the clip before you try to go to sleep. It's just too creepy.)

Abandoning all pretext of "hiking the Appalachian Trail", Mark Sanford spent the weekend in Florida hooking up with his Argentinian hottie.

The Immortal Henrietta Lacks will finally have her story told Henrietta Lacks was an African-American woman who died decades ago from an aggressive form of cervical cancer, but some of the cells were cultured and live on to this day, and they have been the key to unlocking many discoveries that have saved countless lives. Now Oprah and Alan Ball are pairing up to produce a biopic about her life and unwitting contribution to medical science.  

American Power Act rolled out by Kerry and Lieberman, sans Graham and the chin music started immediately. No surprise here...Inhofe hates it.

Much ado about nothing If Blue Girl hadn't flown all over the world with guns in her checked luggage, we might get excited and wave our arms in the air over an Egyptian-American botany teacher who flew to Egypt with two handguns in a locked transport case in his checked luggage. He was detained and questioned at the airport in Cairo - and we bet it doesn't make the national news in Egypt, where they will no doubt leave the pants-pissing and shrieking hysterically to us.

"I didn't do it!" Day II: The cartoon villains from the oil industry appeared before the House Energy and Commerce Committee today and tried their act out in front of Henry Waxman. Facing him, they were slightly more forthcoming than they were before the clown-car Senate, confessing that the rig failed a key pressure test the very day of the explosion that started the inferno that sank the rig that started the gusher that fouled the waters that killed the marine life that washed up on the beaches of the Gulf Coast as carcasses.

Retired Admiral, lifelong Democrat and unapologetic "capital-L" Liberal, Congressman Joe Sestak just may pull it off and beat Arlen Specter in next week's primary. All the polls have the race a statistical dead heat.

Sue Lowden's chickens come home to roost All those pundits who wrote Harry Reid off a month ago have egg on their faces now that he is leading "Chickens-for-Checkups" Sue 42-35.

Lakin's Article 32 Hearing set for June 11 Lakin is the army doctor and birther moron who refused to deploy to Afghanistan because he doesn't accept a black man in the White House and refuses to believe that the President is eligible to serve. We are holding out for a 35-year sentence that has him chained to Yolanda Huet Vaughan, who did two and a half years for deserting during the Gulf War. We think that would kill two birds/punish two grandstanding fuckwit abandoned-soldiers-on-the-battlefield-so-hangin's-too-good-for-'em "doctors" at one time.

Since the Pentagon is always 10-20 years behind the boots on the ground, they're right on schedule here "Nearly a decade after the United States began to focus its military training and equipment purchases almost exclusively on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, U.S. military strategists are quietly shifting gears, saying that large-scale counterinsurgency efforts cost too much and last too long. ... The domestic economic crisis and the Obama administration's commitment to withdraw from Iraq and begin drawing down in Afghanistan next year are factors in the change. The biggest spur, however, is a growing recognition that large-scale counterinsurgency battles have high casualty rates for troops and civilians, eat up equipment that must be replaced and rarely end in clear victory or defeat."

And finally...

American ingenuity strikes again This is a scientific breakthrough that will save countless marriages. "Called the "Better Marriage Blanket," the special cloth is supposed to filter the odorous chemicals coming out of your butt, leaving the bed smelling fresh, and whoever is next to you blissfully unaware. ... Starting at $29.95 the blanket comes in twin, queen, and king size, and in your choice of beige or white."

BG & YD bring you the news :: The Nightowl Newswrap
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Abstaining from kissing... (0.00 / 0)
Well, about to go to bed I couldn't resist the challenge.

After about a minute I couldn't stop laughing. The creepy, unblinking dad seemed like Steve Martin doing a SNL skit. Then, when he grabbed his daughter and the boy -- both seemed way too young to be getting married -- by their shoulders, said "I love you both" and kissed his daughter on the temple, I thought the least he could do to be fair under the sight of god was lay a wet one on the boy, too. May be even give hime some tongue.

That was hilarious. No wonder this country is going to the dogs.


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